Singles gather ’round! Dating doesn’t need to be complicated yet we often find ourselves not knowing what to say or ask on a first date. This post will address some great questions to ask on a first date to help build your confidence in your dating life as well as questions to ask yourself to determine if you want to see him again with this list of christian dating questions.
For many of you, finding somebody worth dating is the hard part. If that’s you, girl, I feel you. So when a first date is finally on the horizon, you want to be as prepared as you can in order to let your confidence shine through. This post is all about asking christian dating questions the right way and preparing yourself to give the date the best possible chance of resulting in a second date.
Jordan’s story
I want to tell you about my friend Jordan who was preparing for a first date with a christian guy she met on upward. Jordan hadn’t been on a date since breaking up with her boyfriend a couple years prior. But now she was ready to get back on the dating horse and felt a little nervous at how to prepare. So she went to google and searched for “best questions for christian dating” into the search bar in an effort to get her mind in the right place.
Up popped several lists of questions and she clicked on the first list available. “These are great questions” she thought, so she made a mental note of all the questions that stood out to her. She even typed a few of them into her phone in case she needed to reference while on the date. Side note: I always recommend putting your phone out of sight during an interview but Jordan felt like it was a bit of a security blanket to have a phone with questions on it just in case the conversation were to stall.
And stall it did, so Jordan picks up her phone and says to the guy, “So how about we go through this list of questions I made?” “sure!” he replied. Initially he thought it was sweet of her to put some thought behind their date and he said it made him feel like she helped take the pressure off and was ready for a fun game of back and forth.
Instead, he was met with some really challenging questions. Questions that included things like “What’s the darkest part of your past I should know about? “Can you tell me about a time that you were scared? How did you deal with it?” “what is your biggest struggle right now?” Needless to say, the guy started closing off and ended the date soon after. She did not hear from him again.
Unbeknownst to Jordan at the time, the list she had actually landed on was “Best christian dating questions to ask after you’ve been together awhile.” Keyword being, awhile. Pretty sure the tail end of that title was cut off in the initial search so she only saw the first bit. My friends, these are not the questions to ask on a first date. In her mind, Jordan thought these were really good questions to ask somebody before moving forward with them but she failed to see how these were too personal for a first date. That’s why i’ve kept the list below to first date questions only.
First date questions:
Getting to know you
- Have you lived in this area for long?
- What brought you to this city?
- Do you have family nearby?
- How many siblings do you have?
- Are you able to see your family often?
- What church do you attend?
- Are you apart of any small groups or serving teams at that church?
- What do you do for work?
- What got you interested in that field?
- Are you happy with your career or is there something else you’d rather be doing?
Questions that leave an impression
First dates are all about getting to know somebody but the questions above may have already been asked during a texting exchange if you met on a dating app or if it’s somebody you’ve known for a time already. That’s why I’m including some more questions that will help leave an impression on the person you are dating.
- What place do you dream of visiting with your future spouse?
- What activity do you find fulfillment in doing?
- What talents did God give you? and are you currently using them?
- What seems to be the missing puzzle piece in your life right now?
- What impact do you hope to have on the world?
- What is your favorite verse in the Bible?
- What Bible character do you want to meet first when you get to heaven?
- Who do you look up to and admire most in your life? How so?
- What characteristics do you wish God gave you at birth?
- What life experiences have taught you the most lessons?
Questions to ask yourself about this person/date
So while you’re on the date, you’re going to be noticing things about this person and deciding if this attracts you or not. If you aren’t the type to immediately know in your spirit if this person is somebody you want to continue to see, you’ll want to ask yourself some questions before taking part in date #2. Some women need time to process dates in order to know how they feel and if that’s you, take your time and do not allow yourself to be rushed. Ask yourself these questions below and you’ll have a better idea if this is somebody you want to give another chance to.
- How did I feel in his presence? (comfortable, nervous, confident, enthusiastic, etc)
- What did I learn about him? his character?
- Do I know enough about him or am I going on a gut feeling/lack of chemistry?
- Was he engaged in our conversations and contributed equally?
- Is this somebody that my friends would like spending time around?
The point here is not to overwhelm yourself so I’ve kept these to only 5 questions. You want to first find how you feel and let that be your guide. If you are still unsure after taking some time to explore your feelings on this date by asking yourself these questions, there generally is no harm in following up for a second date. I know many couples whose first date lacked chemistry or was less than ideal and gave it another shot to become a power couple later down the road.
I hope you’ll use these questions to get to know somebody and I’d love for you to come back here and share your experiences in the comments below or send me a note to share your story!
Bethany
